Kastner’s Guide To Consigning

The process of selling your assets can be confusing, tiresome, and stressful.

So why not let Kastner Auctions sell them for you? 
We have specialists in many parts of the buying/selling community, including insurance claims, bailiff seizures, general overstocks, business closures, freight damaged goods, estate dispersal, and new product sales.
We start our process by conducting an evaluation of the assets that you wish to consign with us. We accomplish this by either sending out one of our experienced appraisers, or receiving your images/listings via our Express Asset Intake System.
Or if you prefer, you can download our Excel consignment sheet.

What Sort Of Items Do We Look For?

  • Vehicles with under 200,000KM & in full running condition.
  • Trailers, Quads, Snowmobiles, Dirtbikes, etc.
  • Commercial Equipment including Light Industrial Tools, Restaurant Equipment, etc.
  • Antiques & Estate Collectibles
  • Quality Jewelry with credible appraisals
  • Quality Tools in full working condition such as Compressors, Power Tools, New Drill Sets, etc.
  • Store Overstock – New Product, Bulk Supplies, etc.
  • Scarce or Rare Specialty Items
  • Excess Home Renovation Supplies
  • Quality New & Estate Furniture Including Bedroom Suites, Dinning Room Suites, Couch Sets, etc.
  • New/Near New Kitchen & Home Appliances including Refrigerators, Ranges, Bar Fridges, Wine Coolers, Washer/Dryers, etc.
  • New Sports Equipment or Memorabilia
  • Electronics & Media including Home Theaters, TVs, Computers, etc. – All electronics must be in full working condition
  • Collectible Toys, Comics, Cards, etc.
  • Any Items with an auction value of $30 or higher.

We Will Conditionally Accept

  • Used Appliances – Must be 5 years old or newer, in working condition, & clean inside & out. We do not accept used built-in dishwashers
  • Used Sports Equipment – Must be near new
  • Used Electronics – Must be in full working condition. We do not accept outdated or obsolete electronics
  • Vehicles with over 200,000KM – We cannot include target prices on any vehicles not running or with over 200,000KM. This excludes diesel & higher end vehicles
  • Records – We accept rock & old country records or assorted pallets
  • Exercise Equipment & Machines – Must be quality machines & in working condition. We will not accept an old home gym in disrepair. *All equipment must be set up. We will not sell in pieces*
  • Please Note: We are contracted to sell *every* item pertaining to Bailiff Seizures & Bankruptcies. Due to this, there may be items in our sales that we will not ordinarily accept. We use our judgement to the best of our abilities to remain fair and equal to everyone.

We Do Not Accept

  • Used Clothing & Footwear, including Jerseys, Jackets, etc.
  • Used Dishware – excluding Antiques & Fine China
  • Used Beds/Bedding
  • Used Cookware
  • Used Board Games, Kids Toys, & Puzzles
  • Used Old Vacuums – Excluding High End Products such as Kirby & Roomba
  • 1980’s Pictures – We will accept Signed Oil on Canvas Pictures
  • Used 1980’s Furniture (Worn Out & Mass Produced) – We Accept Imperial Loyalist/Vilas Maple
  • Furniture with rips, stains, tears, or other apparent damage
  • Unroadworthy Bicycles
  • Boxes of Books & Magazines – Excluding 1900’s & Older, and Collectibles from 1945 & older
  • Boxes of Misc. Mismatched Household Junk
  • Pallets of Household Misc.
  • Mismatched Golf Clubs
  • 8 Tracks, Beta, Or VHS Tapes
  • Old Computer Equipment, including Cable/Satellite Boxes & Routers
  • Run of the mill Coins & Stamps including Medallions, Tokens, etc
  • Ebay Jewelry & Electronics, including Silver/Gold Plate, Cheap Silver Jewelry, etc.
  • No merchandise with garage sale/auction tags *all tags must be removed*

Things To Keep In Mind When Consigning

We Accept Consignment Tuesday to Thursday Afternoon Tuesday-Wednesday 9AM-530PM Thursday – 9AM-Noon

To Accommodate Everyone, Appointments Can Be Arranged Outside Of These Times Upon Request.

Remember to Bring:

  • Photo I.D. with current address
  • Registration/Proof of Ownership for Vehicles
  • A List of Your Assets Will Allow Us To Help You Faster
  • A Postitive Attitude & Patience

Our COVID-19 Shipping Policy

Times are changing.

As we begin to see each other less and less – our lives are becoming increasingly complex. Halting the spread of COVID-19 is important to everyone in Canada and around the world. Read our COVID-19 statement here.

To continue doing our part to maintain our social distancing policy and keep staff and customers protected, Kastner Auctions has modified its shipping policy.

You can get cheap same to next day courier service in Edmonton and the surrounding area, or enjoy 30% off Canada Post and up to 70% off on Global Shipping.

To select shipping, be sure to click the box shown below in your account.

The shipping fee is based on the weight, dimensions and destination of the package. This service offers guaranteed delivery, a tracking number and $100 of insurance coverage.  Additional insurance can be purchased upon request.

To track your package go to www.canadapost.ca/trackapackage.

Input the 16 digit tracking number in the space provided.

Items that are too big to ship via Canada Post, will be packaged and/or palletized.  When items are ready for pick-up, we will advise you of the weight(s) and dimensions of each piece.  Please let us know which carrier you will be using so that we may complete a bill of lading for your carrier of choice.  

If you do not have a preferred carrier, may we suggest one of the following transport companies**:

Visit their websites for delivery locations.

            B&R Eckel’s – 780-826-3889                 Canadian Freightways – 1-888-868-7923

            Day & Ross – 1-866-329-7677               Grimshaw – 1-888-414-2850

            Highway 9 Express – 780-842-9169        J-6 Freightways – 1-888-928-2893

            Kindersley – 780-452-8670                    LaCrete Transport – 1-800-422-9203

            Manitoulin – 1-800-232-7384                  Rosenau Transport – 1-800-465-9659

            Western Dispatch – 780-483-7841          Willy’s Trucking – 780-488-2300

**Please note:  Kastner Auctions has no affiliation with any of the carriers listed above.

If you require additional information, please contact Susan at Kastner’s (780-447-0596) to discuss your shipping options.

KASTNER’S COVID F.A.Q.

Q: Are you still open?

A: Yes. We’ve taken every conceivable protective and proactive measure to ensure that our business is a clean and sterile environment. But we have moved our auctions online. We will be Live Streaming internet only auctions on Sundays and continue with our online only specialty auctions.

Saturday Live Previews have been canceled until further notice.

Q: So I can I still bid online?

A: Absolutely. We HIGHLY encourage anyone who is feeling even just a little under the weather, to STAY HOME. We’ve dedicated more effort towards the online and shipping portions of the business to ensure that we can meet demands from customers – whatever their current situation might be. Please feel free to bid from home.

Will pickup times be impacted?

No. You can still pickup your items at any time. In fact, we encourage you to book ahead to limit the crowds and prevent the spread. Click here to book your pick up time.

Q: What if I’d like to pick my items up, but can’t because I’m self isolating?

A: We will be happy to hold your items for you until you until you are able to collect them. Simply email us to let us know.

Will You Still Be Accepting Absentee Bids?

Yes. We’ll even accept them over the phone as long as you have an established number with us.

Kastner’s Protects Your Health During This Global Situation

Your health and safety is of the utmost importance to us, and so we have taken every possible precaution to ensure that our clients and customers can sell and bid on a whole host of incredible items confidently and securely.  

It’s reasonable to have a few questions about the additional measures that we are taking to remain proactive and prepared at this time.  

UPDATE: Nov 24 2020

Beginning on November 27, Kastner Auctions asks that all consignors and bidders book an appointment online before visiting us in person.

You can both book a consignment time, and a pickup time here.

We ask that all customers and patrons on our premises wear suitable masks to limit the transmission of COVID-19.

Click here for more information about non-medical masks.

  • In an effort to keep social distancing as well as maintain the interactive and exciting auctions we’ve thrown, and the diverse and incredible community we’ve grown, we will continue Live Streaming internet only auctions on Sundays
  • Saturday Previews Have Been Discontinued Until Further Notice To Help Limit Crowds.
  • We have brought in extra staff to better meet the shipping needs of our customers.
  • Allowing administrative staff to operate remotely 
  • Continue using preferred rates by shopping carriers like FedEx and DHL case by case to get our international customers the best rate

With that in mind, here is a list of things you can do to limit the transmission of the virus from the World Health Organization and the Public Health Agency of Canada.

If you have traveled in the past 14 days to an impacted region If you have been in close contact with someone who has returned from an impacted region If you visited a healthcare facility where treatment has been provided for COVID-19

Good hygiene is the best defense – we can’t stress this part enough – both at work and at home Frequent hand washing (soap and water preferred) or use of an alcohol-based hand sanitizer. Wiping frequently-touched surfaces with antiseptic wipes (keyboard, phone, mouse, etc.). Follow cough and sneeze etiquette (into a sleeve or tissue). Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth with unwashed hands If you’re feeling ill – stay home, rest and recover – this is always good advice, and even more so when dealing with a virus outbreak. If you have flu or cold symptoms, stay home and rest – it protects you and those around you.  And, if you are at all concerned, please contact a medical professional.

If you have any questions about COVID-19, please contact The Government of Canada’s coronavirus information line (1-833-784-4397), which is available from 7:00 a.m. to midnight (EST) seven days a week.


The auctions are a great time, but we’d rather see you healthy then ill.  If you really want to bid, bid online and we’ll ship it to you.

STILL HAVE QUESTIONS? Read our FAQ

Kastner & Co. Commit to Australian Aid

The first thing a lot of folks notice when they walk into our 149st location, is the abundance of our animal coworkers.

We think quite highly of our animal associates and value the work they put in each and every day.

It is not an exaggeration to say we’d all be lost without them, and that’s got us reflecting.

In 2016, we here in Alberta experienced our largest evacuation effort to date. 88,000 people were rushed from their homes, 600,000 hectares of land burned, and roughly 10% of homes and businesses in Fort McMurray were rendered piles of ash to be carried away by the wind.

Us, you, and probably a lot of the folks we know were impacted by the tragedy.

With the Fort McMurray wildfires, colloquially known as ‘The Beast’, still fresh in our collective memories, it’s now perhaps a fitting time for us Albertans to remind ourselves who among the world nations came in our hour of need to help us slay it.

Australia has sent fire personnel to Canada four times in the past several years to help us protect our homes, our animals, and our lives. Put more bluntly – we owe them.

At present count, the Australian Wildfires have claimed 24 human lives, 1500 homes, at least 5 million hectares of land, and killed almost a half a billion animals. That last fact is all the more tragic when you take into account Australia’s unique and relatively isolated ecosystems – themselves marvels of our planets capacity for life. With the smoke so thick and plentiful that it can be seen from space, the residents of those ecosystems are now suffocating in the hundreds of millions.

Albertans should not be content to simply grieve this loss with rest of the World, which is why we here at Kastner Auctions have decided to support the effort and take donations to help those who helped us and pay down the debt our province owes those fire crews.

Kastner Auctions will be offering free shipping for any donations to help ease the burden, so you can avoid shipping fees. Our Edmonton location at 11205 149st will be accepting both monetary and item donations at the front desk. Please bring your goods and donations to the front desk.

If you, like us, have seen the devastation the fires have caused and felt compelled to swaddle a Koala in a blanket – now is YOUR opportunity.

Here’s a handy list of some of the other places where you too can donate online to help .

Support the citizens

St. Vincent de Paul Society: The St. Vincent de Paul Society is an Australian Charity that provides food, clothing, and crisis accommodation to people both during and after they have been impacted by the bush fires.

The Salvation Army Disaster Relief Fund: The Salvation Army is a global organization currently operating in several areas of the crisis, providing disaster relief and councilors.

Red Cross Australia: The Red Cross is currently accepting donations to help reunite those families separated by evacuations and help them cover their expenses as they try and rebuild.

Support the fire crews

New South Wales Rural Fire Service: The NSW Rural Fire Service is currently accepting donations to volunteer fire brigades currently operating in one of the most dangerous areas of the emergency.

Victoria Country Fire Authority: The Victoria Country Fire Authority Bushfire Disaster Appeal allows you to donate to either the general fund, or to a specific brigade of your choosing.

Support the wildlife

WIRES: Wildlife Information, Rescue, and Education Service public gift fund is collecting donations to help rescue and care for the animals injured and displaced by the fires.

Port Macquarie Koala Hospital: Currently sitting at over $4 million, the Port Macquarie Koala Hospital has started a Go Fund Me under the banner of “Help Thirsty Koalas Devastated By Recent Fires” to provide food and aide to Koalas impacted by the fires.

On behalf of the Kastner family of hardworking animals and people alike, we thank you for your generosity, and wish you a happy and safe New Year.

On The Twelve Days Of Consignment X-mas

Here’s a song, you know it well. Of Christmas nights, and giving gifts it tells. To warn you all, of what’s to come,
on the Twelve Days Of Consignment X-mas Fun!

Well actually that’s as far as we can get with the poet-isms, but you can’t say we didn’t try! As much as I’d like to be able to talk to you in haiku-like mannerisms with a dash of Allen Poe, I’m just not that good, and hey I think it’s healthy to admit that!

But anyways let’s get back on track here: Twelve Days Of Consignment X-mas is a short little reminder from Kastner’s that highlights how consigning items is just like gift giving, only better! Why’s that? Well you get money back of course!

So to reiterate the best things to bring in for the holidays, and without further ado, we present to you, our song:

OOOOOOOOOHH (Long drawn out “OH”, don’t sing it any other way!)
On the FIRST Day of Consignment X-Mas
A Consignee brought to me:
A Seven-Foot Christmas Tree!

On the SECOND Day of Consignment X-Mas
A Consignee brought to me:
Two Mitre Saws
And a Seven-Foot Christmas Tree!

On the THIRD Day of Consignment X-Mas
A Consignee brought to me:
Three Framed Prints
Two Mitre Saws
And a Seven-Foot Christmas Tree!

On the FOURTH Day of Consignment X-mas
A Consignee brought to me:
Four Leather Chairs
Three Framed Prints
Two Mitre Saws
And a Seven-Foot Christmas Tree!

On the FIFTH Day of Consignment X-Mas
A Consignee brought to me:
Five Diamond Rings
Four Leather Chairs
Three Framed Prints
Two Mitre Saws
And a Seven-Foot Christmas Tree!

On the SIXTH Day of Consignment X-Mas
A Consignee brought to me:
Six Statues A Praying
FIVE DIAMOND RINGS!!
Four Leather Chairs
Three Framed Prints
Two Mitre Saws
And a Seven-Foot Christmas Tree!

On the Seventh Day of Consignment X-Mas
A Consignee brought to me:
Seven Snowblowers Blowing
Six Statues A Praying
FIVE DIAMOND RINGS!!
Four Leather Chairs
Three Framed Prints
Two Mitre Saws
And a Seven-Foot Christmas Tree!

On the Eighth Day of Consignment X-Mas
A Consignee brought to me:
Eight Laptops For Playing
Seven Snowblowers Blowing
Six Statues A Praying
FIVE DIAMOND RINGS!!
Four Leather Chairs
Three Framed Prints
Two Mitre Saws
And a Seven-Foot Christmas Tree!

On the Ninth Day of Consignment X-Mas
A Consignee brought to me:
Nine Gizmos n’ Gadgets
Eight Laptops For Playing
Seven Snowblowers Blowing
Six Statues A Praying
FIVE DIAMOND RINGS!!
Four Leather Chairs
Three Framed Prints
Two Mitre Saws
And a Seven-Foot Christmas Tree!

On the Tenth Day of Consignment X-Mas
A Consignee brought to me:
Ten Antiques Antiquing
Nine Gizmos n’ Gadgets
Eight Laptops For Playing
Seven Snowblowers Blowing
Six Statues A Praying
FIVE DIAMOND RINGS!!
Four Leather Chairs
Three Framed Prints
Two Mitre Saws
And a Seven-Foot Christmas Tree!

On the Eleventh Day of Consignment X-Mas
A Consignee brought to me:
Eleven Plants for Potting
Ten Antiques Antiquing
Nine Gizmos n’ Gadgets
Eight Laptops For Playing
Seven Snowblowers Blowing
Six Statues A Praying
FIVE DIAMOND RINGS!!
Four Leather Chairs
Three Framed Prints
Two Mitre Saws
And a Seven-Foot Christmas Tree!

On the Twelfth Day Of Consignment X-Mas
A Consignee brought to me:
Twelve Cars (All Running)
Eleven Plants for Potting
Ten Antiques Antiquing
Nine Gizmos n’ Gadgets
Eight Laptops For Playing
Seven Snowblowers Blowing
Six Statues A Praying
FIVE DIAMOND RINGS!!
Four Leather Chairs
Three Framed Prints
Two Mitre Saws
And a Seven-Foot Christmas Tree!

Kastner’s Holiday Happiness Hints

It’s coming. That time of year where expectations are high, dollars are low, and panic sets in. Did I forget to get something for Aunt Betty? What size is James wearing now? Does Teagan even like Paw Patrol anymore? How many kids does your second cousin Lynne have again? Was my bank account always this low!? Phew, it’s a lot to remember! Thankfully, for every stress this season brings there is an equal or greater joy: seeing the kids faces when they get chocolate and candies in their stockings, laughing when someone opens a gag gift, getting to stage Santa and his reindeer’s foot prints and of course, getting to take that bite out of the cookies! While the preparation for the big day can cause you stress, Kastner Auctions wants you to remember all the happiness that goes hand-in-hand with the holidays, and to help you get through the worst of those stresses, we want you to keep a copy of Kastner’s Holiday Happiness Hints close by.

Hint #1: Like Santa.. Make a List & Check It Twice!
We know a lot goes into preparing for this one day, and we applaud anyone that manages to do it without taking down a to-do list; however, we FIRMLY believe in the magic of a well written (and executed) checklist. We’ve prepared a draft copy of a Christmas Checklist that you might find useful, feel free to add or take away tasks to best suite your families traditions:

  1. Delegate cooking responsibilities- there is no bigger joy sucking task then being the only one cooking the family meal on Christmas. And although some more culinary inclined folks might argue that cooking the dinner is their greatest joy, not everyone shares the sentiment. We recommend introducing a Pot-Luck style dinner this year. Whether you bring the bird, the ham, or just the cranberry sauce, your contribution will be much appreciated, and will leave more time to spend with loved ones instead of with the oven.
  2. Have everyone send in suggestions for the kids- Life is so busy it’s hard to keep in touch with what every kid in the family is into these days. To curb that fear start a family group chat, and everyone can submit a few suggestions of what their kids like to play with, what size they wear, and what allergies they might have.
  3. Plan your sleeping arrangements- Instead of making make-shift beds out of old bedding and couch cushions this year, plan ahead to know where every one will be sleeping. Call around to make sure there are enough beds, or air-mattresses to go around, and always, I mean ALWAYS have one or two as a spare!

Hint #2: Fill Up Your Santa Sack Early
There is truly no worse feeling then having to drive to the nearest convenience store looking for a last minute gift, card, or wrapping paper. I don’t want to bring you down here, but Josh really didn’t like the bag of Lay’s and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups you got him from the 7-11 last year. Now in the same token, we totally understand that buying a ton of gifts all at the same time can be costly, so Kastner Auctions is prepared to curb that burden this year. This Sunday, December 1st Only you can get 20% Off your in-house buyers premium! Come in to grab bulk holiday gifts at a fraction of their retail value, plus find interesting and eclectic items that aren’t found in every shop around town! Surprise Josh this year with a signed photo of his favorite hockey player, a brand name watch, or even a new couch for his apartment! You’ll look like the big spender this year when you show everyone your haul, and we promise not to tell anyone how much you saved.

This being said, don’t let your family focus too much on gifts this season (more on this in Hint#3), teach them to appreciate the thought that goes into a present more than the money that it costs. Kastner Auctions believes in the value of homemade gifts, as they are something that you can treasure for a lifetime and even pass down to future generations. If you have the time, or don’t have the money, try making gifts this year. You can do homemade ornaments, knit a one-of-a-kind scarf, or even make a homemade bridge board out of driftwood! The possibilities are endless, and the gesture is priceless.

Hint #3 Make Christmas About Family
Let’s take a second to look past the material gains of the Holiday Season, and remember the real meaning of Christmas. It’s not about the price on the tag, its about the priceless-ness of the family time. It’s not about having the newest stuff, it’s about the making of new memories. Make sure to plan some time to build a snowman, play a game, or even have a food fight! (Well maybe a snowball fight would be better, but the choice is up to you). 10 years from now your family isn’t going to remember what you bought them, but they will remember the weird face you made when you laughed so hard milk came out your nose. Or that time you slipped on ice and landed face first into the snow.

Hint #4: Give A Little Joy This Holiday
This time of year everyone needs a hand, and whether you can do your part by donating a toy, a can of food, a pair of mitts, or even just your time at a local shelter, your effort goes a long way. There are a multitude of ways you can show a little love to your community for Christmas, and doing so with your kids is a valuable character building experience. We recommend heading over to Google to check out some local shelters, food banks, or hospitals and inquire about volunteering your time. As a rule of thumb, it never hurts to pay it forward.

Hint #5: Observe Traditions & Make New Ones!
Traditions are the foundations of memories, and we cannot stress the importance of them enough. Whether your tradition is to bake cookies with the kids, decorate the tree as a family, make a village of snowmen, or sing your favorite carols by the fire, you absolutely must make the time to observe these traditions. And at the same time, why not start to build new ones! We’ve compiled a list of fun activities for you to try this year, and maybe even every year from here on out:

  1. Secret Santa Christmas- This fun filled tradition is great for the family and wallet! Most people have heard of or participated in a Secret Santa at some point in time, the concept is simple. Typically this tradition is observed by the adults. Family members put names in a hat and one at a time pick the name of the person they will be buying for. On Christmas everyone sits close and watches the wrapping paper fly, and as a fun twist you can guess who the Secret Santa was! It is also a pretty good idea to set some monetary limits, you don’t want to spend $200.00 on your gift and only receive a $10.00 dollar store item. So check with the family and set a range that works for everyone.
  2. Track Santa- Did you know you can tell your kids EXACTLY where Santa is on Christmas Eve? It’s true! With the help of the friendly team over at Norad your entire family can watch just how quickly Jolly Old Saint Nick does his rounds, and plan the perfect time for everyone to hit the hay! (Remember, he sees you when your sleeping, he knows when your awake!) Want the link to check him out? Head over to the handy dandy Google and search up “Norad Santa Tracker”!
  3. White Elephant Christmas- For those of you who haven’t heard of this dollar saving take on Christmas, you’ve been missing out! A White Elephant Christmas is usually done with the adults in the family (We recommend anyone over 18 can participate). What happens is come Christmas day everyone brings a wrapped, unmarked gift. You can either draw names, or give out random numbers as your guests arrive. Now if you think this sounds a little like Secret Santa you’d be wrong, because White Elephant Christmas has an exciting twist! The first person to go gets to pick a gift, and everyone gets to watch them unwrap it. Now when the next person goes they can either pick an unwrapped gift to open, or steal from someone who has already opened a present! If your gift is stolen, then you get to pick another one to unwrap. Now a gift can only be stolen three times, and then it is safe. This fun twist on Christmas can be hilarious, but it can also bring out the worst in people, so to avoid any drama we suggest you set some rules for the gift purchasing aspect of the game. You can set a dollar range for gifts, such as $100.00 Minimum $150.00 Maximum, or whatever works for everyone’s budget. You can also say “No giftcards”, or “No Alcohol”, or even “Only Gag Gifts”, or whatever your family agrees on. Just make sure everyone remembers this is a game meant to bring laughter, not mean spirited competitiveness.

So folks, whether you call it Christmas, X-Mas, Happy HO-HO, or scheduled time off work, the holiday season means the same three things to everyone: stress, time, and money. But that isn’t what this time of year is all about! Despite the trend of gift-giving, and massive feasts, Christmas is really about family. So spend some time with yours this year, and use the Kastner’s Holiday Happiness Hints to have a Holly Jolly Christmas, and a Happy New Year!

The Kastner’s Guide To Identifying Monsters On Halloween

All Hallows Eve is nearly upon us, and along with tricks and treats, comes ghosts and ghouls.. how sure are you that those are children on your door step? For the safety of humanity on the day the door between worlds is at its weakest, follow the Kastner’s Guide To Identifying Monsters on Halloween. Tell your family, share with your friends, this may save your life.

Below you will find identifiable differences between children’s costumes, and the real mcCoy. If you are unfortunate enough to have a genuine monster knocking on your door, I urge you… DO NOT steak through the heart, dismember the head, vacuum into a spectral container, or unravel their bandages. Only do so once you have followed: Kastner’s Monster Verification Services to be 100% with out doubt that you are looking at a REAL monster. Doing so without following the guide will put you at risk of unleashing an angry horde of protective parents, and scaring children which we all know is a huge party foul.

Ghosts:
Children’s Costumes: Ghost costumes are usually (unless homemade by a seamstress master) pretty cheesy. You will notice that first and for most, there are legs touching the ground. If you cannot see legs then check to see what the face of the ghost looks like. Contrary to popular belief ghosts DO have facial features, and children’s costumes are generally featureless sheets with eye holes. Finally, check the area surrounding the ghost. Can you see what’s behind it? If not then you’re safe to hand out candy and go back to watching Netflix.
Real Monsters: Real ghosts are one of the easiest to identify monsters on Halloween. They float, which is a feature that is extremely difficult if not nigh on impossible to replicate. They are also fairly transparent. If you can see your mailbox through the figure standing on your doorstep, chances are pretty good you are looking at a true ghost. Finally check out the facial features of the ghost: are they tortured looking, disheveled, or showing some kind of noticeable injury? Finally try the candy test, it’s really very simple: see if the candy you hand them promptly falls to the ground. If so, you my friend have a Casper at your door.

What To Do Now:
Lucky for you ghosts are a low threat monster. Unless your biggest fear is random noises in your house and the occasional cold spot they really aren’t much of a threat. Ghosts are lost souls that either don’t want to move on, or don’t know they need to. There are two options when dealing with them. First option is to simply tell them they’re dead. You might get a shocked response, or unintelligible mumbling, but either way they needed to hear that they are indeed, dead. This might be enough to scare it away, but you may want to try being helpful to it and offer to help it move on. That is the second option. This is actually a really easy process, all you need to do is tell it that their loved ones are waiting for them at the white light. Encourage them to go into it, let them know they are safe, and that they don’t need to suffer anymore. 9/10 ghosts will go into the light.

VAMPIRES:
Children’s Costumes:
You will notice that children dressed as vampires all have pearly white fangs. They usually have imperfect hair, and may be found to have “blood stains” on their teeth, face, hands or clothes. Speaking of clothes, a costume will usually be modified to keep the child warm while they stalk the streets for candy. WATCH FOR THOSE SIGNS.
Real Monsters: When facing a real vampire first look at their fangs. A real vampires fangs will be yellow/brown (you have no idea how hard it is to get blood off enamel). Their breath will be pretty rancid as well, but not in the “I haven’t brushed my teeth in a week” way, more like “I haven’t gotten the rotting flesh out of my molars in 2 decades” which as you can imagine, is significantly worse. A vampires hair will also be sleek, you won’t be able to see a single fly away. That is because when they are hunting their victims they need the ability to fly with the utmost aerodynamics, it’s not a style choice but more of a survival necessity. Finally, if the monster on your door has all of these signs AND is wearing an outfit reminiscent of your grampa’s on his own father’s wedding day… then unfortunately for you, you are looking at a genuine vampire. Vampires are cold blooded, and don’t feel the cold outside, and when they wear absurd outfits it invites you to talk to them, which is of course a VERY BAD IDEA.

What To Do Now:
Don’t panic. The vampire assumes you think it’s a child. Tell the ghastly beast that you’ve run out of candy, and need to grab some from the kitchen. Now run like hell is at your door (which it totally is) and do one of two things: if you are a novice monster slayer, just get out of there. Vampires are an intermediate monster, and not to be slayed lightly. If you are an experienced monster slayer, then grab your decoy candy bar (the pressed garlic one) handy dandy bottle of liquid garlic, and your holy wooden stake. Hand over the “candy”, the vampire will respond to the touch of it immediately. Then spray the sucker in the face and sides (to disable his flying ability and stun his fangs to buy you time). When you have a GOOD SHOT (and I cannot emphasize that enough, as we all know if you miss staking the heart of a vampire it just disappears, but it will definitely come back) stake the blood sucker directly in the heart! You will know you hit your mark if the vampire disintegrates like one of the unlucky Marvel characters after Thanos snaps his fingers.

Mummies:
Childrens’s Costumes: Aside from the Hollywood style mummy costumes, kids dressed up like this un-dead fiend are generally wrapped in 2-ply toilet paper. That being said the wrap job usually isn’t that great, you will most likely see lively flesh underneath and that’s a dead giveaway that the “mummy” is a child. If you happen to have a well covered costume on your door step, ask them to do this trick for their treat: can you touch your head? A child will still have full mobility of their arms and legs and that trick will be a cake walk for them. They might also answer you with words, which is another thing true mummy’s cannot do. Finally do the secret smell test, take in a deep breath of fresh air, if you don’t immediately start heaving, then give that mummy their gummies and move on!
Real Monsters: Real mummy’s are hundreds, to hundreds of thousands years old. The time they’ve been un-dead on this earth results in a putrid, vile, gut turning smell that will burn your eyes and nose hairs. You will be able to smell them before you even open the door, so keep that in mind before you open it. Mummy’s also generally have ZERO mobility in their arms. More often then not whoever prepared them for the afterlife decided they don’t need them anymore, and has tightly wrapped their arms together in-front of their chest, sometimes holding rare artifacts. (Side Note on the artifacts, if you manage to banish the mummy and unravel it’s wrappings, DO NOT-I repeat- DO NOT touch the artifact! Have you ever seen Suicide Squad? Touching ancient mummified artifacts is a one way trip to possessing the spirit of the mummy in your own body, so unless you REALLY hate your life, and love to sleep for eternity and never eat, DO NOT TOUCH THAT ARTIFACT.)

What To Do Now:
Lucky for you, Mummy’s are notoriously slow walkers. In reality if you don’t want to deal with it you could just side step them and they wouldn’t be able to catch you. But you’re not reading this guide just to know how to stay safe from monsters, you are also getting an insanely valuable education on how to banish them. Mummy’s are after all their years of decaying, nothing but bandages and bones. All you need to do in this case, is grab a hold of the wrappings and start running laps around the beast. As you unwrap them you will definitely need to plug your nose, the smell gets significantly worse the closer you get to the center. Keep unwrapping until all you have is a pile of wrappings and dust on your door step. If an ancient artifact drops, contact Kastner Auctions to have it quarantined, removed, and possible consigned (see note above on why you should never touch the artifact).

Zombies
Children’s Costumes: Like their mummy cousins, zombie children’s costumes are usually pretty cheesy. The exception being that there are some pretty amazing makeup artists out there with kids, so you may end up with a realistic costume on your door step. Pay special attention to the zombies wounds. Puss is a pretty hard to replicate feature of a zombie, mainly because the smell is unmistakable. If the zombie your looking at has wounds with no noticeable flies or maggots floating around, then chances are your looking at a kid. Zombie costumes will also 100% of the time have all 4 limbs. That is something a real zombie usually does not possess.
Real Monsters: Zombies are a lot like mummies, they smell TERRIBLE. But that is not the biggest give away that the thing your looking at is an un-dead beast, the biggest hint is their limb count. If they are missing a hand, foot, rib, or any other life-necessary body part then you can quickly identify that this guy is the real deal. Zombies always have hoards of friends with them, they are pack creatures and usually can’t hunt without at least 20 other brain hungry morons in tow.

What To Do Now:
If you truly have a zombie at your door, do NOT open the door. If you have already chances are you’ve already been bitten and your days are numbered. Zombies are not the smartest monster, so they typically go straight for the biting without wasting any time convincing you that they are anything other then un-dead. What you need to do to survive a zombie at your door is sever the head. Zombies don’t need any other part of their body except the connection from their neck to their spine and up into their so called brain. You can be creative on how to sever this connection, I would recommend watching a season or two of The Walking Dead before Halloween to study up on the do’s and don’t’s of zombie killing.

Kasturducken Recipe

Kasturducken Recipe:

PRENOTE: Bird deboning is darn hard. Save yourself the 6 hours of anguish and frustration, head over to Express Employment and find yourself a butcher to do that hard work for you! You pay their wage, and then you take the credit, that is a sure fire win win.
YOU WILL NEED:
7 Kilo Turkey- no bones, we’re not cooking toothpicks here.
2 Kilo Duck- no bones, have you ever ate a duck bone? yuck.
1 Kilo Chicken- aww its so little, still no bones, save those for your sewing.
4 litres of water-gotta keep the meat hydrated!
1 cup of salt- yes, 1 full cup, don’t question it.
1 cup of sugar- trust the process okay? I see the face your making, don’t knock this until you try it.
1 cup apple cider vinegar- not white vinegar, thats for cleaning not turduckens.
whatever herbs you have-this recipe is delicious no matter what you use, except cinnamon, do NOT use cinnamon.
handful of black peppercorns, or red ones, whatever.
2 cups of ice cubes- to cool off this hot recipe your concocting.

STEPS:
so theres no nice way to say this, but your going to take your boneless duck, and shove it up the butt of the boneless turkey. then your going to take your adorable boneless chicken, and you guessed it, up it goes. use the biggest toothpicks you can find to close up any gaps made in the process of stuffing the birds, you want one seemless looking turkey, no visable duck or chicken.
Next your going to brine the turducken. Boil the water with the salt, sugar and apple cider vinegar, herbs and ice. Then drown your frankenstine bird over night (it needs its hydration!) you can let it soak for up to 2 days for ultimate juicyness.

On turkey day make your favorite stuffing, and you know, stuff the thing. Then comes the roasting, preheat oven to 300 F and place the bird in your biggest roasting pan. Tie all legs together and pop that sucker in for a minimum of 6 hours. when its done take it out and let it rest for an hour, then tell the easiest to prank member of the family to carve, record the reaction, and enjoy!

Behind The Face of Kastner Auctions

A Fun Interview with Sean Kastner

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Today’s blog post is a bit different than the previous ones. Today I will be interviewing the President and one of the owners of Kastner Auctions, Sean Kastner. I decided instead of having a super formal interview, it would be much more fun to see the not-so-formal side of a man who has been with Kastner Auctions for over 25 years, helping it grow to the business it is today.

1. Are you more of a hunter or a gatherer?

ANSWER: “A balanced mixture of both — a delegater”

2. You’re a new addition to the crayon box. What color would you be and why?

ANSWER: “A combination of the rainbow surrounding a pencil because I am focused on bringing visions to manifestations”

3. We finish the interview and you step outside the office and find a lottery ticket that ends up winning $10 million. What would you do?

ANSWER: “I’d cash it in and buy and island and invite the people with the biggest hearts and best minds to live on and do what they are doing in Auroville, and make a massive preserve depending on how much more funds we could raise.”

4. What do you think about when you’re alone in your car?

ANSWER: “I think about the state of mind I am in. If I am in a not so good mood, I think about what I can do to make myself feel better. I focus on what is next. It is my time to regroup and think about how I can be more awesome.”

5. What’s your favorite ’90s jam?

ANSWER: “I like any strawberry jam… Kidding:  “Nirvana”

6. If you could be any animal in the world, what animal would you be and why? 

ANSWER: “Dolphin. Reason being is they are pleasure seeking animals who live in the moment. They are sentient beings aware of their freedom. They can do whatever they want, whenever they want so long as they stay in water ;).”

7. What was the last gift you gave someone?

ANSWER: “30 year old bottle of scotch for my father. Hey dad, If you are reading this, I love you!”

8. What were you like in high school?

ANSWER: “I was an extremist. Mildly anarchist, and an eclecticist. I brought the best out of everyone into what I know, project wise: one was universal peace, the other was Illuminati’s creative arts association…”

9. What’s the last thing you watched on TV and why did you choose to watch it?

ANSWER: “Walking Dead. I was forced into it because I watched it the year before and there was a major cliffhanger. I am a temporary zombie junkie.”

10. What is the funniest thing that has happened to you recently?

ANSWER: “Kidnapped in Cuba.”

11. What inspires you?

ANSWER: “My mother, humanitarians, the phoenix fire bird, and pushing limits”

12. What do you work toward in your free time?

ANSWER: “Honing my marketing skills, creating new business systems, and drinking up useful knowledge.”

13. What’s the most interesting thing about you that we wouldn’t learn from your resume alone?

ANSWER: “I am triple jointed.”

14. How would you rate your memory?

ANSWER: “What was the question?”

15. If you woke up and had 2,000 unread emails and could only answer 300 of them, how would you choose which ones to answer?

ANSWER: “By my  most important contacts.”

16. Describe the color yellow to somebody who is blind.

ANSWER: “Yellow is energizing, the aura of the sun, the first colors of warmth, powerful, gives earth life.”

17. You’ve been given an elephant. You can’t give it away or sell it. What would you do with the elephant?

ANSWER: “I would by the lot next to me, build a pen and send him to summer camp.”

18. Who would win a fight between Spiderman and Batman?

ANSWER: “Batman. He has more accessories and more tricks up his sleeve than Spiderman.”

19. How would you convince someone to do something they didn’t want to do?

ANSWER: “Longthorn Cactuses have been proved to be very persuasive… KIDDING!  I usually focus on taking one for the team and let them know how important their contribution is, let them know how important it is and what benefits will become of it, I appeal to their nobler motives“

20. A penguin walks through that door right now wearing a sombrero. What does he say and why is he here?

ANSWER: “Senor, global warming is coming and I have no ice cubes. I stay here?”

Closing

During the interview, it was interesting watching Sean’s face as I asked him the questions. It was fun and some of the answers I received I did not expect as much. This interview definitely shows that Sean is not only a businessman who works hard for his business, he is also a very entertaining man who views life in general as a gift. He has a sense of humor and is pretty easy to get along with, which translates into the business culture found in Kastner Auctions.

If you’ve enjoyed this interview, stay tuned as a secondary interview with the other owner of Kastner Auctions, Dave, will be coming soon near you!

Don’t forget to check out our website at kauctions.ca and check out the auctions currently lined up for this week at bidlive.kauctions.ca.

Sincerely,

A very interested blogger