Kasturducken Recipe

Kasturducken Recipe:

PRENOTE: Bird deboning is darn hard. Save yourself the 6 hours of anguish and frustration, head over to Express Employment and find yourself a butcher to do that hard work for you! You pay their wage, and then you take the credit, that is a sure fire win win.
YOU WILL NEED:
7 Kilo Turkey- no bones, we’re not cooking toothpicks here.
2 Kilo Duck- no bones, have you ever ate a duck bone? yuck.
1 Kilo Chicken- aww its so little, still no bones, save those for your sewing.
4 litres of water-gotta keep the meat hydrated!
1 cup of salt- yes, 1 full cup, don’t question it.
1 cup of sugar- trust the process okay? I see the face your making, don’t knock this until you try it.
1 cup apple cider vinegar- not white vinegar, thats for cleaning not turduckens.
whatever herbs you have-this recipe is delicious no matter what you use, except cinnamon, do NOT use cinnamon.
handful of black peppercorns, or red ones, whatever.
2 cups of ice cubes- to cool off this hot recipe your concocting.

STEPS:
so theres no nice way to say this, but your going to take your boneless duck, and shove it up the butt of the boneless turkey. then your going to take your adorable boneless chicken, and you guessed it, up it goes. use the biggest toothpicks you can find to close up any gaps made in the process of stuffing the birds, you want one seemless looking turkey, no visable duck or chicken.
Next your going to brine the turducken. Boil the water with the salt, sugar and apple cider vinegar, herbs and ice. Then drown your frankenstine bird over night (it needs its hydration!) you can let it soak for up to 2 days for ultimate juicyness.

On turkey day make your favorite stuffing, and you know, stuff the thing. Then comes the roasting, preheat oven to 300 F and place the bird in your biggest roasting pan. Tie all legs together and pop that sucker in for a minimum of 6 hours. when its done take it out and let it rest for an hour, then tell the easiest to prank member of the family to carve, record the reaction, and enjoy!

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